Overwhelmed!

Thank you to everyone who left comments for me :-) It is so touching to have such a wonderful support group that I consider my friends and who I can count on.
It's all good as I have come out of this on top and happy with my direction and progress. This really isn't just about my weigh in on Sunday, it's about my self-esteem and my perception of myself that stems back most of my life which i know many of us understand.

Looking in the mirror now I think I am finally seeing the real image and not the exaggerated, imagined fat areas that continuously haunt me. I have also been getting better at not comparing myself to comp condition too. Comp condition is exactly that "Comp Condition"!

I have no excuse anymore for seeing myself as "fat" as it dawned on me after seeing my progress pictures (real eye-opener) that I eat good, healthy, nutritious, muscle growing food 24/7. I just don't eat junk, I don't care for it anymore and haven't for quite some time now since becoming a competitor. I do indulge a little on the weekends and have wine and nuts but this is earned by a great week of eating and training!
So how can I be fat if I live on veges, lean meats, fish, grains, nuts etc? I am know longer limiting my body of the nutrition it needs to gain lean muscle, and no longer doing loads of cardio to try and stay lean. I am now force feeding my muscles good food to help them grow and not doing any cardio and boy am I getting a response! The first month was rapid and should now taper down a little.






I am in my second week of strength training and it is fantastic. I love being trained and pushed to my limits. Michael's new program is very challenging but it is exactly what I need. He really knows how to mentally prepare me for the big lifts, getting my head around being able to lift the weight and not be afraid of it.
We are also working on my weak areas, i really want to bring up my shoulders, I want big shoulder boulders lol. I always thought my shoulders would never improve but they have a little so it gives me hope that if I continue to slam them then they will grow.
Not doing cardio is getting easier as I am completely smashed after a training session now. All I do now is finish my training, throw down a protein shake with add carbs then walk on the tready (slow pace) for around 15 minutes, just to walk it out a bit, and that's it!! Hard to believe.
What motivates me now is that I feel i'm prepping for the comp next year, only in a different phase of the prep. I don't lose focus of what I want to look like when I stand on stage again, it's exciting. The best thing I could have done was to have this year off, it just feels so right for me now!

Thanks again sooooooo much for the comments, it really put me on a high reading everyone of them :-)

Deb xxx